Curiosity Can Kill More Than A Cat.

I think the reason I turned out okay (for those of you who say otherwise, it would be wise to kindly shut up, thank you) is because I did all the stupid stuff as a child.

1. If you've ever wondered what it would be like to staple your finger, read this before you decide to do it: it will >>insert profanity<< hurt. No, the staple will not go all the way through your finger, but it will puncture pretty deeply if you slam the stapler down hard enough. All in all, it'll feel like a splinter. Or a piece of shrapnel.

1b. If you happen to step on a staple, the smart thing to do would be to pull it out, not twist it around until it breaks that second layer of skin and draws blood.

2. You know that trick where you swing the bowling ball and it doesn't hit you when it swings back your way? The same cannot be said for a person on a swing set. They can change their momentum and kick you in the face.

3. It is not okay to inflate juice boxes and stomp on them so that they explode. Especially when the straw is still in it. I didn't poke my own eye out, but I came very close to poking a rooster's eye out. Maybe that's why he became hostile towards me later on.

4. Don't backhand the rice cooker. Even if the steam it's creating reminds you of Cruella DeVille and how she went around smoking that cigarette. It's cooking rice, not dalmatian puppies.
---

Originality: EXPRESS YOURSELF

Express yourself!

Why would I want to be friends with a copy when originals are the best? I don't like it when people follow the norm just to make friends. Normally, I would encourage following the norm - it means you actually fit into society. Good for you. But when it comes to decisions on clothing, classes, hobbies, do what you do best. Pick things that interest you, not what your friends are doing. Chances are you'll find someone who shares the same passions as you and soon enough, you will be linked at the hips by super glue. Painfully awesome. I know people dislike the word "hate" because of its strong negative connotation but I will use it anyway. I HATE copies. People copies.

Hello Marshmellow

1.) You look fake. And you know it. Fashion styles are just that. Styles. Not meant to look good on everyone because everyone has a different body type. Love your body. Wear clothes that are comfortable and make you feel and look your best. Everyone was made differently and we should celebrate that. What if everyone looked the same? I'd shoot myself. The world would be too boring.

2.) You seem insecure. If you can't find your own style, it means that you follow everyone else's since you too scared to look weird. WEIRD IS GOOD. At least you're expressing yourself and being true! Chances are someone thinks you look awesome! So GO FOR IT :)

All the single ladies!

3.) You're one of those people that try too hard. I REALLY dislike those people. You want to fit in. Cool. Find people that share the same interests. Don't force yourself on a specific group. And if a group is telling you to dress or act a certain way, chances are they're not your real friends and probably make fun of you (along with everyone else). Don't worry - your awkwardness will pay off when you find people with mutual awkwardness. Till then, rock being single. Like Sasha FIERCE. Beyonce. Uh huh.

So originality is important. It defines you and can be of great benefit if used correctly. Now go out there and rock your style. And while you're at it, give yourself a high-five. You deserve it because you are PHENOMENAL.

Peace, Love, Gassy Goats

Why HELLO THERE!

Anusha Ali

NaNoWriMo

Now, this post isnt about an un-awesome thing, or something you shouldnt do, it's for me (yes i'm selfish) to let you know a little bit about what's going on with me.
This year, i'm doing NaNoWriMo, which stands for National Novel Writing Month. Basically, the object of the game is to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in just thirty days.
Are you hyperventilating a little? No, that's me.
And it's super fun, because i love to write, but it's hard, because 50,000 words is an incredible volume. I'm only at 38 thousand words, and i have 128 pages of twelve point font, one inch margins, double spaced, times new roman font, with the first line of each paragraph indented.
So, right now, it's a long, looong essay, but lets imagine it in book size.
The first book i thought of was 'The Hunger Games' by Suzanne collins (it's a really good book, i'm officially suggesting it), and i googled the word count. It's just around a hundred thousand, a little less.
So, by the end of the month, i will have written at least a little over half of The Hunger Games, and that's just the opening gambit.
Because i know what i'm writing now is bad. Lets face it, yes, i'm a good writer, when i have time to think over word choice, edit, plan ahead, and send my raw material to Rica for a good reading and cutting down. But 50 thousand words in a month? Be real, i dont have time to edit! Much less think!
So for now, i'm writing through a plot that i've constructed in my head, i'm not entirely sure where it'll end, and my natural desire to write well is not being satisfied. At least i'm writing though.
Of course, at present, the book will probably not make sense to anyone but me, but hey, it's part of the process.
www.nanowrimo.org
now that i'm done moaning about writing, i'm gonna go write a few thousand words, because i'd like to hit forty thousand by the end of the day.
Have a good saturday, yall!
Emily

Owning a dangerous thing...let's leave this as vague as possible

So we all know (since we're in college and all) that we're not allowed to have sharp objects in our possession at any time - and this includes our dorms. Speaking of dorms, it feels like I'm a hobbit living in my own quarters away from the hub of the rest of the world. Or it would feel like that if my room didn't shake every time the EL passed by. That and people are constantly over. I DIGRESS. So sharp objects include knives (dammit), scissors (DAMMIT), and pointy things that I could slice people open with quite easily (not that I would or have found a reason to do so yet). We also cannot have animals in our rooms. LIE. We can have fishes. Do they even count? Meh. Um but I read the policy like a hundred times and it never said anything about owning your own velociraptor. Now before you go on about how dinosaurs are extinct, let me explain. After I go to my physics lab. BRB.

BAACKKK! Didja miss me? Betcha did - don't lieee

This looks like fun. I should try it.

ANYWAY. So okay what if THEORETICALLY, I opened a space-time continuum and just happened to go back to the age of the dinosaurs and um stole (?) a velociraptor? Remember this is all hypothetical. OH MY WAFFLE LET GO OF MY LAB REPORT! Ugh what the hell?! How is a teacher supposed to let me go with the excuse that my velociraptor ate my homework...and my dog? Yeah see how unrealistic that sounds? Too bad its not. Err...hypothetically.

So here are the repercussions of using a time-portal for personal gains.
1.) If you steal a piece of history, history itself could be changed because of that. What if you stole that dinosaur that was the first dinosaur ever discovered? You could put off discovery of that ancient and awesome race for a while which would set everything else back. Aaaanndddd my laptop is slowly fading a w a yyyyykajflaoeajojsafdnv*#$@!&)^%(. Just kidding.

OH MY GOD. I WANT A JET-PACK!

2.) If you DO end up stealing a velociraptor, how are you supposed to train it to become a domestic, harmless animal that doesn't eat everything that moves....(and how am I supposed to clean up all this blood?!) Yeah, think twice before stealing a monster...although I have to say, I don't regret my decision. AT ALL.

3.) It's just a bad idea. Who knows? Maybe you won't come back. That would suck. People would miss you - hopefully. I mean if you're a worthless piece of scum, I think people would be mighty happy you disappeared off the face of this planet for very suspicious reasons.


And so I leave you with this thought:

Exactly my thoughts...

Peace, Love, Loony Ligers,

Anusha

Not Planning Ahead

Wednesday, you should know before i begin, is my busiest day of the week for school. Class begins bright and early at 8:30 in our school's version of the workout building, which, handily, is right next to my dorm! Then, i have exactly ten minutes to hike all the way up this ginormous hill, and i literally hike straight up it, and across campus to Chemistry, which begins at 9:30. Then, i have forty minutes to scarf a lunch for chemistry lab, which begins at eleven, and ends officially at two. If me and my partner finish early (unlikely, we have a good time) then we can leave early, but we're usually in there for a LONG time. Then, if i get out at two, i have to go to horn class, a class i'm not technically enrolled in, but am going to anyways, which starts at 2:30, then recital hour at 3:30, grab dinner, hang out, do homework, then brass chior at seven.
Whew, are you as tired as i'm going to be? I dont drink coffee, i think you should know that too.
Anyways, you should probably be wondering why my post is called, "Not planning Ahead."
It's because my french horn, which is heavy and sucks to carry for indeterminate distances, is sitting at the foot of my bed.
So lets explore my options:
1) wake up early to take it up the hill: no.
2) take it with me when i do my trek up the hill in between classes: only if i want to die.
3) come get it after chemistry, and ride the bus up with it: if i'm skipping lunch, which i'm not.
4) get it after i finish my lab: i'll have to.
Hopefully, me and patrick finish this thing quickly, but since we're determining the vitamin c content of green peppers, a proscess which has not one, or two, but three parts to it (and about a million steps) i highly doubt it.
Whatever, today's gonna be good for my cardio.

You Probably Shouldn't Own A Pet If You Know You Will Kill It.

My parents asked me several times when I was younger if I wanted a dog. I always said no, for the dog's sake. I would probably be too curious about what dogs can handle. You know, curiosity killed the cat. Except it was my curiosity, and it was a dog.

1. Don't drop your cat into a bag of leaves. They don't like leaves. Or being dropped. Or being enclosed in bags. (Don't worry I let the cat out of the bag later. Ahaha see what I did there.)

2. Don't throw your dog down the stairs. I will tell you right now, they're not like cats and will not land on their feet all the time.

3. When cleaning the fish tank, be aware that the fish that sticks to the side of the tank will also stick to you. And it is not at all pleasant, for you or the fish.

4. If you live in a neighborhood where stray cats tend to sleep behind bushes, check under your car before backing out. They like sleeping there too.

5. If the choice is between sticking your arm into a rose bush or letting your dog stick his face into a rose bush, choose neither. Just lure the dog away from the rose bush. Because even though you saved your dog from a painful fate, you literally thrust yourself into an equally painful situation.


...the above are all true stories. But don't worry, they all survived.

Blah

For some reason, i dont feel well. I, in fact, feel nauseous, and i'm not entirely sure why. I'm not sick, i havent eaten anything fishy, and im not turning into a zombie (not yet at least) so i dont know why i'm feeling badly. So here's my list of things you shouldnt do when you're nauseous
1) drink milk. i have no fracking idea why you shouldnt drink milk, but my mother always told this to me when i was young and sick. maybe it's because milk is hard to digest, or maybe it's because it's nasty, but in either case, dont drink milk.
2) headbang to music. If you're motion sick like me, then this will not help the nausea, and will probably make you throw up on your dorm floor. Now, if you're bulimic... just kidding, i'm not touching that one with a ten food pole.
3) throw up on the rug in your dorm room. Because you will have to clean it up (your mother isnt here to help you) and your roommate will be pissed. I didnt actually throw up on the floor, and i havent thrown up, but my roommate is still asleep, so hopefully i could just say a raccoon snuck into our room and did it. That would work, right?
4) ride a bus. Hey, i get motion sick! Why do i want to get on a vehicle with a driver that likes to swing their rig around corners, stop suddenly, and drive like a maniac up and down the arkansas hills? I dont, i would puke!
5) walk up a hill to class. Exertion can make you puke, especially if you're feeling bad, or on your way to chemistry (which i hate), and even if you hold it in, you'll still want to cry when you get to the top.
So what is the moral of the story? I'm laying in bed, blogging, when i should be almost at chemistry class, because i have to way to get there without puking. I can only hope that my stomach is all better by later, because at some point i'll need a warm meal, and i need to walk downstairs for that!
Hope you're all well.
Emily

GAWKing and/or DROOLing ... GREWOOLing (I guess)

It's pronounced GROO-OOL, not GREW-EL. What is grewl? Why does it matter? It doesn't. Getting back to the topic, gawking and drooling are the most DISGUSTING, utterly FOOLISH things you could do - regardless of the reason (which I am sure are below par). The reasons may fall under these categories.

Hehehehe

1.) You see your crush or maybe just a hot guy/gal walking down the hallway. Now, you can take one of two approaches. The CLASSY: Make eye contact, smile, maybe wink, and if you've met them before, say hi. The FOOLISH: Gawk and drool. That's just nasty and he or she will probably think you're some weird alien who wants to eat them. Or a rabies-infested person. Whatever.

2.) You see [insert famous person's name here]. It's amazing. It's inspiring. It's .... GAWKKKK....(or DROOOOL). Yeah. CUT IT OUT. In case you didn't get the hint when security was called to politely tell you to "back off", stop the googly eyes and wipe up that nasty line of spit hanging from your chomper. It ain't attractive and definitely wont get you a signed autograph. It'll get you transported to the county jail for disturbance of public peace.

Ho Mi Gosh it's JOHNNY DEPP

3.) Maybe it's just a permanent expression etched on your face. In that case, I am extremely sorry and did not mean to disrespect your or humiliate you in any way, shape, or form (I think God took care of that for me - KIDDING! ...or am I?)

So I guess what I am trying to say is WIPE THAT STUPID EXPRESSION OFF YOUR FACE before someone (most likely me) wipes it off for you PERMANENTLY (along with your face). Please and thank you!

Peace, Love, Wiggling Walruses,

Anusha Ali

YAY!

P.S Gawking and drooling are only acceptable in this situation: watching the mid-night premier of Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows Part 1 while dressed up as a character from the series (or just as a student in one of the houses - preferably GRYFFINDOR!) I will probably be grewooling. Don't hate; participate!

Like, violence

now, maybe it's just me, but lately, i've been seeing an increased discrimination towards people of the red hair type. Yes, that means gingers. I personally, as a redhead, dont understand it. Yes, we freckle in the sun, yes we're pale, yes our hair is like fire, but that doesnt make us soulless, or kick worthy. So before participating in any 'anti ginger' activities, please consider the following.
1) we burn in the sun, easily. the eternal pain of a sunburn should compensate for any hatred you have towards us.
2) we're people just like you, and if you kick one of us, well, there's a good chance we wont share mms or homework help with you.
3) we're dangerous to screw with. We get angry easily, and should be approached with approximately 1.8 times more caution than when dealing with regular people.
4) most of us are chill. Yes, despite the fire hair.
So please, as one of the things that isnt so cool, and you shouldnt do, add participating in 'kick a ginger' day, hiding the spf 90 sunblock, and using the word "Ginger" (it's a racial slur. Only we can use that word) to your list.
Just a short beginner post from the ginger one.

DO NOT i repeat DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS under ANY circumstances - you WILL end up dead (or worse)

He just never learns

They can get you killed. Plain and simple. Just look at the picture. Do you want to end up like him? No. We all know the amount of unnecessary pain and disappointment he brought upon himself just for the sake of the [FLAKING] ACORN. I mean REALLY?! Has he not learned his lesson yet? But I digress. The most important thing to focus on is NOT listening to your instincts - they WILL get you killed. Case and point. I don't think I need to elaborate on this point, but I feel as though I must - it is my responsibility to help you dense humans.

This is so stupid, it doesn't deserve a caption

1.) You are young and stupid. Not experienced and definitely not invincible. No, dressing up as Superman for Halloween does not count. Sorry. No amount of gym time or muscle milk will help you get out of a stupid situation that you landed yourself in due to your intelligence - or lack there of.

2.) Things always seem to take a turn for the worst. It's Murphy's Law. I think. If something bad CAN happen, it's highly probable that it WILL happen. Do NOT trust luck - it is fickle and can only get you out of so many debacles.

I doubt the joker would go for her

3.) You are stupid and ignorant. I don't know how many times I will have to say this before you get it through your thick skull. Drinking till you pass out is not the smartest of decisions that college kids have been known to take. We all know that there are people out there who will take advantage of that situation - I am one of them. I'm sorry but if you lack the brains to make proper decisions, I feel it necessary to inflict punishment on you in the form of public humiliation. And trust me, that stays with you FOREVER. Just look at her...er...him?

4.) You will get screwed over. I think that's the main point i've been trying to get across. Teens are not known for their brilliance - if anything, they are well known for their exercise of mental power (their very MINIMAL use of brain juice). So save yourself (and your rep) the trouble and do the complete OPPOSITE of what your instincts tell you. For example, if your instinct tells you to ditch a class because you're not learning anything new that day, GO TO CLASS ANYWAY. Chances are, your professor may review topics and this could help on a test. Another example, if your friends tell you to blog about your impulses, save yourself the trouble and the joint pain and say NO. It's not a hard word to say. In fact, its shorter than yes. EMPOWER YOURSELF. SAY NO.

I hope this was beneficial to my fellow teens. Stay safe and smart. Peace out.

Peace, Love, Stupid Squirrels,

Anusha Ali

Don't Change Your Mind. Ever.

Know that when adults told you to have a flexible and open mind, they were lying. If you put your mind to something, you must follow through and do it. There is no turning back. That's for the weak. And stupid. Before you try arguing that your mom is always right, consider this:

1. It is never a good idea to decide you DON'T want to jump off the swing once you're half way off. You will get stuck. Crash. And Burn. And it will hurt.

2. Just as bad is deciding you don't actually want to ski down a Black Diamond mountain once you're halfway down. You should just suck it up, close your eyes, and go. Please don't try climbing back up because it will hurt. Please.

3. On that note, make sure you actually intend to get off the chairlift when you get on it. Contrary to common belief, those things DO NOT make a round trip because it will hurt. One way ticket dear.

4. And, if upon seeing the chair come from behind, you suddenly change your mind, it is still better to get on. Moving out of the way will not only be a waste of chair rotation, but you will also get caught on the chair, dragged through ice and end up face down in powder snow where nobody will be able, or willing, to get you out. And it will hurt.

"...and it will hurt."

My roommate and I decided to go to the on campus Starbucks yesterday around 2 pm. We had planned to stay for about an hour to drink our coffee, and possibly read a little, before heading back to our room. We ended up staying there until about 6pm, talking about how our childhood taught us about the things we shouldn't do.

On a semi-related note, one of my favorite quotes: 
             "Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted." - John Lennon

Anyway, she suggested writing a book about all of it, mostly because she thinks if she can write a bestseller she can drop out of college and still lead a successful life. But I recently came up with the idea of putting together a blog, where we can all share our stories and teach each other things that simply shouldn't be done.

I thought about calling this blog "1000 Not So Awesome Things" (hence the blog URL), as a nod to one of my favorite blogs 1000awesomethings.com but I realized making a (possibly predetermined) numbered list might be too much organization and/or planning. So I've decided not to designate a number of not so awesome things we can talk about.