Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Thou shalt not lie (or keep secrets for that matter)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
TOP 10 KEY culprits of procrastination or things you shouldn't do if you have something to actually be doing...
So I just realized that I have only posted once on this blog. I guess I can't really get rich and skip college at this pace, now can I? But, in my defense, I've thought of many interesting things to post here. I just haven't gotten around to actually physically putting them on this page. Which brings me to my main topic: procrastination. Something I'm sure many of us could win a Nobel Prize in if, you know, they gave a prize for that. Anyway, after attending a high school more rigorous than college, I've not only mastered how to ace tests without knowing the material, juggle 7 AP classes and write a gazzilion essays in one night…I've learned to be a pro procrastinator. However, it is not a task to be taken lightly. One must know when to stop (no, the "I can stop whenever I want" thing doesn't work here. I've been told that's for alcoholism). One must also know what the greatest sources of procrastination are. And thus, I proudly present my TOP 10 KEY culprits of procrastination or (to go along with the blog name) things you shouldn't do if you have something to actually be doing (like a 10 page research paper…hehehe).
1. Facebook. Obviously. We love it. We hate it. We hate to love it. And we love to hate it. You get the point. Biggest problem with Facebook? You go online to check your notifications (all 50 of them because someone tagged you in a post that someone commented on that someone liked that someone…etc etc etc). Then you feel obligated to respond to them all. Then you find someone you share common interests with. Then you find a new Facebook friend. Then….then it's 3 hours later and you've done NOTHING with your life. Good job.
2. Friends. As in real ones. The friends you've actually met in a non-creepy/shady way. You feel obligated to stay in touch because honestly, who wants to end up an old lady with 27 cats for friends. Noone, right? Especially guys because that would be sad AND disturbing. Anywho…your friends say you should hang out. So you do. Then you're tagged in a million pictures. Then you make matching profile pictures. Then you spam people's walls. Then…then you decide to skype.
3. Skype. You start off by asking how everyone is doing and before you know it, you're doing a group video call (yes, that is possible if all of you update your Skype). And you're taking weird screen shots. And whispering stuff (on a side note, if your roommate is in the room but NOT in the actual conversation, it is not wise to up the volume as high as possible to hear what your friend is whispering. They're called headphones. Use them well). Basically, Skype is bad.
4. E-mail. You e-mail your teacher or friend or boss or someone and then continue to hit the refresh button until you see the long awaited INBOX(1)! Note: the number of times you hit refresh does not correlate with the number of e-mails you will receive. Just saying.
5. Music. Here is the logical reasoning you give yourself for listening to music while you work: it keeps me alert and I'm more productive. Bonus points if the music is in a language that you don't know (say...Korean?) and you can thus claim that it's not actually distracting you. Until your curiosity gets the better of you. And you want to know what they're saying. So you find the subbed video. And you listen to more songs, now knowing what they say. And you find similar artists. And before you know it, you have an iPod filled with foreign songs, a dorm decorated with the singers' pictures and one pissed off roommate. Oops.
6. Stalking/Twitter. Basically, you decide music videos are not enough and decide to follow every celebrity you can. By the way, there's a lot of them out there. Good luck.
7. YouTube. Ha. Those "Related Videos"? Yeah, those are death. Start off watching a Wong Fu video, go on to a NigaHiga clip, then KevJumba, then….then you're watching some girl talk about hairstyles? Or better yet, watch a funny music video and end up crying over a movie scene. To sum it up, resist clicking anything on YouTube.
8. Children. As in siblings or other young children (not your own though. I hope). Of course it's not bad to give them some of your time. Until you spend 4 days straight doing nothing but playing hide-and-seek, drawing cars, racing cars, building Legos and running in circles. While your homework rots away. No, it will not actually disappear. And no, you can't use that as an excuse. That's worse than saying your dog ate it.
9. Karaoke. Remember those friends you have? And that foreign music you suddenly like? Well…now you get to combine the two! Karaoke is great except for the whole losing your voice/reasoning/time part. And of course, if you are not a native speaker of whatever language the songs are in, you must take the time to attempt to learn (or look like you learned) the song lyrics. Pretty darn impossible to accomplish this. But hey, there went another couple hours of your life.
10. Life. No, I am not saying we should all die. But living is essentially very distracting. You have to eat (or you don't have to…but then you still do). You have to sleep. Then you have to wake up. Then you have to breathe. It's so much work, no wonder we never concentrate on stuff like research papers.
And if you've reached the end of this list, you're obviously as good at concentrating on something impostant as I am. On that note, I should go work on my paper. Or at least open a word document.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Curiosity Can Kill More Than A Cat.
1. If you've ever wondered what it would be like to staple your finger, read this before you decide to do it: it will >>insert profanity<< hurt. No, the staple will not go all the way through your finger, but it will puncture pretty deeply if you slam the stapler down hard enough. All in all, it'll feel like a splinter. Or a piece of shrapnel.
1b. If you happen to step on a staple, the smart thing to do would be to pull it out, not twist it around until it breaks that second layer of skin and draws blood.
2. You know that trick where you swing the bowling ball and it doesn't hit you when it swings back your way? The same cannot be said for a person on a swing set. They can change their momentum and kick you in the face.
3. It is not okay to inflate juice boxes and stomp on them so that they explode. Especially when the straw is still in it. I didn't poke my own eye out, but I came very close to poking a rooster's eye out. Maybe that's why he became hostile towards me later on.
4. Don't backhand the rice cooker. Even if the steam it's creating reminds you of Cruella DeVille and how she went around smoking that cigarette. It's cooking rice, not dalmatian puppies.
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Originality: EXPRESS YOURSELF
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| Express yourself! |
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| Hello Marshmellow |
2.) You seem insecure. If you can't find your own style, it means that you follow everyone else's since you too scared to look weird. WEIRD IS GOOD. At least you're expressing yourself and being true! Chances are someone thinks you look awesome! So GO FOR IT :)
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| All the single ladies! |
So originality is important. It defines you and can be of great benefit if used correctly. Now go out there and rock your style. And while you're at it, give yourself a high-five. You deserve it because you are PHENOMENAL.
Peace, Love, Gassy Goats
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| Why HELLO THERE! |
Anusha Ali
Saturday, November 20, 2010
NaNoWriMo
This year, i'm doing NaNoWriMo, which stands for National Novel Writing Month. Basically, the object of the game is to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in just thirty days.
Are you hyperventilating a little? No, that's me.
And it's super fun, because i love to write, but it's hard, because 50,000 words is an incredible volume. I'm only at 38 thousand words, and i have 128 pages of twelve point font, one inch margins, double spaced, times new roman font, with the first line of each paragraph indented.
So, right now, it's a long, looong essay, but lets imagine it in book size.
The first book i thought of was 'The Hunger Games' by Suzanne collins (it's a really good book, i'm officially suggesting it), and i googled the word count. It's just around a hundred thousand, a little less.
So, by the end of the month, i will have written at least a little over half of The Hunger Games, and that's just the opening gambit.
Because i know what i'm writing now is bad. Lets face it, yes, i'm a good writer, when i have time to think over word choice, edit, plan ahead, and send my raw material to Rica for a good reading and cutting down. But 50 thousand words in a month? Be real, i dont have time to edit! Much less think!
So for now, i'm writing through a plot that i've constructed in my head, i'm not entirely sure where it'll end, and my natural desire to write well is not being satisfied. At least i'm writing though.
Of course, at present, the book will probably not make sense to anyone but me, but hey, it's part of the process.
www.nanowrimo.org
now that i'm done moaning about writing, i'm gonna go write a few thousand words, because i'd like to hit forty thousand by the end of the day.
Have a good saturday, yall!
Emily
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Owning a dangerous thing...let's leave this as vague as possible
BAACKKK! Didja miss me? Betcha did - don't lieee
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| This looks like fun. I should try it. |
So here are the repercussions of using a time-portal for personal gains.
1.) If you steal a piece of history, history itself could be changed because of that. What if you stole that dinosaur that was the first dinosaur ever discovered? You could put off discovery of that ancient and awesome race for a while which would set everything else back. Aaaanndddd my laptop is slowly fading a w a yyyyykajflaoeajojsafdnv*#$@!&)^%(. Just kidding.
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| OH MY GOD. I WANT A JET-PACK! |
3.) It's just a bad idea. Who knows? Maybe you won't come back. That would suck. People would miss you - hopefully. I mean if you're a worthless piece of scum, I think people would be mighty happy you disappeared off the face of this planet for very suspicious reasons.
And so I leave you with this thought:
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| Exactly my thoughts... |
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Not Planning Ahead
Whew, are you as tired as i'm going to be? I dont drink coffee, i think you should know that too.
Anyways, you should probably be wondering why my post is called, "Not planning Ahead."
It's because my french horn, which is heavy and sucks to carry for indeterminate distances, is sitting at the foot of my bed.
So lets explore my options:
1) wake up early to take it up the hill: no.
2) take it with me when i do my trek up the hill in between classes: only if i want to die.
3) come get it after chemistry, and ride the bus up with it: if i'm skipping lunch, which i'm not.
4) get it after i finish my lab: i'll have to.
Hopefully, me and patrick finish this thing quickly, but since we're determining the vitamin c content of green peppers, a proscess which has not one, or two, but three parts to it (and about a million steps) i highly doubt it.
Whatever, today's gonna be good for my cardio.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
You Probably Shouldn't Own A Pet If You Know You Will Kill It.
1. Don't drop your cat into a bag of leaves. They don't like leaves. Or being dropped. Or being enclosed in bags. (Don't worry I let the cat out of the bag later. Ahaha see what I did there.)
2. Don't throw your dog down the stairs. I will tell you right now, they're not like cats and will not land on their feet all the time.
3. When cleaning the fish tank, be aware that the fish that sticks to the side of the tank will also stick to you. And it is not at all pleasant, for you or the fish.
4. If you live in a neighborhood where stray cats tend to sleep behind bushes, check under your car before backing out. They like sleeping there too.
5. If the choice is between sticking your arm into a rose bush or letting your dog stick his face into a rose bush, choose neither. Just lure the dog away from the rose bush. Because even though you saved your dog from a painful fate, you literally thrust yourself into an equally painful situation.
...the above are all true stories. But don't worry, they all survived.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Blah
1) drink milk. i have no fracking idea why you shouldnt drink milk, but my mother always told this to me when i was young and sick. maybe it's because milk is hard to digest, or maybe it's because it's nasty, but in either case, dont drink milk.
2) headbang to music. If you're motion sick like me, then this will not help the nausea, and will probably make you throw up on your dorm floor. Now, if you're bulimic... just kidding, i'm not touching that one with a ten food pole.
3) throw up on the rug in your dorm room. Because you will have to clean it up (your mother isnt here to help you) and your roommate will be pissed. I didnt actually throw up on the floor, and i havent thrown up, but my roommate is still asleep, so hopefully i could just say a raccoon snuck into our room and did it. That would work, right?
4) ride a bus. Hey, i get motion sick! Why do i want to get on a vehicle with a driver that likes to swing their rig around corners, stop suddenly, and drive like a maniac up and down the arkansas hills? I dont, i would puke!
5) walk up a hill to class. Exertion can make you puke, especially if you're feeling bad, or on your way to chemistry (which i hate), and even if you hold it in, you'll still want to cry when you get to the top.
So what is the moral of the story? I'm laying in bed, blogging, when i should be almost at chemistry class, because i have to way to get there without puking. I can only hope that my stomach is all better by later, because at some point i'll need a warm meal, and i need to walk downstairs for that!
Hope you're all well.
Emily
Thursday, November 4, 2010
GAWKing and/or DROOLing ... GREWOOLing (I guess)
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| Hehehehe |
2.) You see [insert famous person's name here]. It's amazing. It's inspiring. It's .... GAWKKKK....(or DROOOOL). Yeah. CUT IT OUT. In case you didn't get the hint when security was called to politely tell you to "back off", stop the googly eyes and wipe up that nasty line of spit hanging from your chomper. It ain't attractive and definitely wont get you a signed autograph. It'll get you transported to the county jail for disturbance of public peace.
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| Ho Mi Gosh it's JOHNNY DEPP |
3.) Maybe it's just a permanent expression etched on your face. In that case, I am extremely sorry and did not mean to disrespect your or humiliate you in any way, shape, or form (I think God took care of that for me - KIDDING! ...or am I?)
So I guess what I am trying to say is WIPE THAT STUPID EXPRESSION OFF YOUR FACE before someone (most likely me) wipes it off for you PERMANENTLY (along with your face). Please and thank you!
Peace, Love, Wiggling Walruses,
Anusha Ali
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| YAY! |
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Like, violence
1) we burn in the sun, easily. the eternal pain of a sunburn should compensate for any hatred you have towards us.
2) we're people just like you, and if you kick one of us, well, there's a good chance we wont share mms or homework help with you.
3) we're dangerous to screw with. We get angry easily, and should be approached with approximately 1.8 times more caution than when dealing with regular people.
4) most of us are chill. Yes, despite the fire hair.
So please, as one of the things that isnt so cool, and you shouldnt do, add participating in 'kick a ginger' day, hiding the spf 90 sunblock, and using the word "Ginger" (it's a racial slur. Only we can use that word) to your list.
Just a short beginner post from the ginger one.
DO NOT i repeat DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS under ANY circumstances - you WILL end up dead (or worse)
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| He just never learns |
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| This is so stupid, it doesn't deserve a caption |
2.) Things always seem to take a turn for the worst. It's Murphy's Law. I think. If something bad CAN happen, it's highly probable that it WILL happen. Do NOT trust luck - it is fickle and can only get you out of so many debacles.
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| I doubt the joker would go for her |
4.) You will get screwed over. I think that's the main point i've been trying to get across. Teens are not known for their brilliance - if anything, they are well known for their exercise of mental power (their very MINIMAL use of brain juice). So save yourself (and your rep) the trouble and do the complete OPPOSITE of what your instincts tell you. For example, if your instinct tells you to ditch a class because you're not learning anything new that day, GO TO CLASS ANYWAY. Chances are, your professor may review topics and this could help on a test. Another example, if your friends tell you to blog about your impulses, save yourself the trouble and the joint pain and say NO. It's not a hard word to say. In fact, its shorter than yes. EMPOWER YOURSELF. SAY NO.
I hope this was beneficial to my fellow teens. Stay safe and smart. Peace out.
Peace, Love, Stupid Squirrels,
Anusha Ali
Don't Change Your Mind. Ever.
Know that when adults told you to have a flexible and open mind, they were lying. If you put your mind to something, you must follow through and do it. There is no turning back. That's for the weak. And stupid. Before you try arguing that your mom is always right, consider this:
1. It is never a good idea to decide you DON'T want to jump off the swing once you're half way off. You will get stuck. Crash. And Burn. And it will hurt.
2. Just as bad is deciding you don't actually want to ski down a Black Diamond mountain once you're halfway down. You should just suck it up, close your eyes, and go. Please don't try climbing back up because it will hurt. Please.
3. On that note, make sure you actually intend to get off the chairlift when you get on it. Contrary to common belief, those things DO NOT make a round trip because it will hurt. One way ticket dear.
4. And, if upon seeing the chair come from behind, you suddenly change your mind, it is still better to get on. Moving out of the way will not only be a waste of chair rotation, but you will also get caught on the chair, dragged through ice and end up face down in powder snow where nobody will be able, or willing, to get you out. And it will hurt.
"...and it will hurt."
On a semi-related note, one of my favorite quotes:
"Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted." - John Lennon
Anyway, she suggested writing a book about all of it, mostly because she thinks if she can write a bestseller she can drop out of college and still lead a successful life. But I recently came up with the idea of putting together a blog, where we can all share our stories and teach each other things that simply shouldn't be done.
I thought about calling this blog "1000 Not So Awesome Things" (hence the blog URL), as a nod to one of my favorite blogs 1000awesomethings.com but I realized making a (possibly predetermined) numbered list might be too much organization and/or planning. So I've decided not to designate a number of not so awesome things we can talk about.















